Forgiving Yourself

Picture source: Messenger of Joy
The following is from Father John Catoir's January 2008 Newsletter and is being used with permission.

Joy is in the eye of the beholder. To get past the pain of needless guilt, its helps to change your perspective, and avoid all forms of self-sabotage.

Millions of brokenhearted people live their lives in quiet desperation feeling guilty over one thing or another. One elderly woman had an abortion in her youth, and she never got over it. She was still punishing herself, years later, believing that God was surely going to punish her if she didn't beat up on herself here and now.

That is a faulty theology, and a poor understanding of God's infinite love.
She had confessed her sin many years before, but still acted as though God never heard her confession, and worse, never forgave her.

People forget that the greatest sin ever committed on earth will never be big enough to limit God’s infinite mercy. The greater the mercy, the greater the glory given to God. There is no need to perpetuate feelings of guilt, and no need to keep on punishing oneself. The best thing is thank God for his mercy, and move on with one's life, in a spirit of gratitude. It is a matter of controlling your thoughts.

Feelings follow thoughts. If you fail to accept God’s love and forgiveness, you are refusing to honor God’s love. We cannot allow ourselves to be too proud to accept God’s mercy. Mercy is love as it confronts misery. Guilt feelings can only dissolve when we trust God enough to show his power; namely to bring good out of evil. God always forgives. Jesus set the tone: “Forgive them Father for they know not what they do.” The message of God’s mercy may seem too good to be true, but if you accept his forgiveness, the gift of peace will come.

Acceptance purifies the soul, and brings relief to the wounded spirit. “The forgiven penitent is reconciled with himself in his inmost being, where he regains his own true identity…he is reconciled with the Church, with himself, and with all creation,” (Pope John Paul II).

Very often those, who cling to guilt feelings, are putting themselves above God’s mercy. They do not believe that they are worthy of forgiveness, so they punish themselves endlessly. “Do not be afraid… your sins are forgiven,” says the Lord. Take him at his word

The penitent needs to bow in gratitude, not fear. Thank Jesus for his forgiveness. Peaceful feelings will follow eventually. Forgive yourself, or at least ask for the grace to forgive yourself, and learn to be patient.

Forgiveness is in the will, and the will has only one function. The will says yes or no. Say yes to God and accept his forgiveness. Do it because you know God loves you. He wants you to share in his peace and joy. He wants to bring you peace and pardon through his beloved Son, Jesus Christ.God will do for you, what you cannot do for yourself, bring you peace of soul.

Dear Jesus, teach me be still; teach me to accept your love and forgiveness. I know you are blessing me every moment of my life, and I thank you with all my heart.

To obtain a copy of the above book: Encounters With Holiness, or any of Father Catoir's other books like:
Joy The Gigantic Secret of the Church's Survival,
Enjoy the Lord,
God Delights in You, or
Enjoy Your Precious Life

Call the publisher: Alba House 1-800- 343-2522 or visit their website HERE

Please consider a tax-deductable donation to help support Fr. Catoir's radio ministry. Make your check payable to St. Jude Media, and forward it to Father Catoir at Box 745, Chester, N.J. 07930

Thank you, and God bless you.

Visit our website: Messenger of Joy

Fr. John Catoir is the former director of the Christophers. He was also the executive director of Eva's Village, formerly Eva's Kitchen. He is a syndicated columnist in Diocese newspapers around the country including the Hawaii Catholic Herald. He is a noted author of many books as mentioned above especially the ones on the topic of Joy. And, lastly, he used to be our parish priest Our Lady of Victories in the Paterson Diocese. That is the church my family attended when I was growing up.