One of the finest discussions of this question is given by Germain Grisez in his book, Living a Christian Life, Vol. 2 of his The Way of the Lord Jesus, pp. 721-737. In Love and Responsibility (1960) Karol Wojtyla has some helpful things to say, particularly in the final chapter on sexology. I will first summarize material from Grisez, then from Wojtyla, and finally offer some practical suggestions.Read it all here
... So then, whom could you marry? A long time ago we came up with something we called "Esolen's Rules." They're only half facetious. But they are an attempt to get at the normal:
1. Don't marry a woman who likes cats but does not like dogs. You may marry a woman who doesn't like either, or whose reason for not liking dogs is that one of them bit her when she was a toddler. But a woman who likes cats but does not like dogs will be a Joan Crawford or Jane Wyman. Ronald Reagan married Jane Wyman, and look how sorry he was about that.
2. Don't marry a man who is neater than you are. You may, however, marry a man who polishes his tools and puts them away after use....
3. Don't marry anybody, man or woman, who says, "I'm going to call you at eight," and then leaves you waiting by the phone for an hour. Exceptions can be made for people who are kidnapped by Arabs, or who have epileptic seizures.
4. Don't marry anybody who insists on a separate bank account, bed, bathroom, vacation, or zip code. It makes no sense to be one flesh and two wallets.
5. Don't marry a woman who spends more on makeup than she does on food. In general, don't marry a woman who engages in the sin of reverse gluttony...
A national initiativas been launched by the Church to "reclaim St Valentine's Day", focus on the true meaning of the feast day and the importance of romance in marriage.Read the rest here.
Archbishop Philip Wilson, President of the Australian Catholic Bishops Conference, says the campaign is an opportunity to advocate the sacred bond of marriage.
- Have I neglected the spiritual care of my spouse?
- Have I allowed the busyness of life to crowd out my primary responsibility of caring for the spiritual needs of my spouse?
- Have I put my own needs and desires ahead of the spiritual needs of my spouse?
- Have I done anything that distracts my spouse from his/her spiritual desires? Have I failed to nurture the spiritual interests of my spouse?
- Have I allowed my own fears or feelings of inadequacy to hinder spiritual activities with my spouse (i.e. prayer together)?
Our Mission
The Alexander House is a national, not for profit, lay apostolate dedicated to marriage education and enrichment through the teachings of John Paul II and the teachings of the Catholic Church. We assist married couples, troubled couples, engaged couples, young adults, high school/middle school youth, priests, and dioceses.
Our Vision
To see a society full of married couples who are living God’s plan for marriage, so that the joy, sanctity and permanence of the sacrament may be realized and preserved.
Our Goal Is
To preserve the marriage covenant, build strong families and lower the divorce rate by helping individuals to discover the beauty and grandeur of the vocation to love and the service of life through marriage, family, church and community.
Our Motto
To be a witness to God's Glory one must be humble enough to share one's story with others. By our example of repenting and turning to God, we reveal the redeeming power of God. We make what is perceived to be intangible, tangible!
The Name
As a result of coming to understand and live out God's design for marriage Greg and Julie felt called to create a vehicle that would allow others to experience the same happiness and joy that they discovered in their marriage. They also believe that all we need to know about marriage should be taught in the home, hence the word house. Because it was from their own wounds that they (the Alexander's) began to educate and help to heal others in their marriages; it was only logical that this apostolate should be called the Alexander House.
The Alexander House collaborates with parents, churches, schools, higher education, industry and community groups to provide programs, workshops, seminars, retreats and resources to increase the understanding and education of God's plan for the Sacrament of Marriage and to stop and reverse the decline of marriage in our society. It also pledges its allegiance to the Holy Father and is loyal to the Magisterium of the Catholic Church.
Let Brotherly love continue. Do not neglect hospitality, for through it some have unknowingly entertained angels. Be mindful of prisoners as if sharing their imprisonment, and of the ill-treated as of yourselves, for you are also are in the body.
Let marriage be honored among all and the marriage bed be kept undefiled, for God will judge the immoral and adulterers. Let your life be free from love of money but be content with what you have, for he has said, I will never forsake you or abandon you Thus we may say with confidence:
The Lord is my helper, and I will not be afraid. What can anyone do to me?...
I think it is very telling that the Church chose to honor the Martins based in their wedding anniversary. During my marriage preparation in the Catholic church, we learned that a proper, holy marriage requires 'dying to self' each day. On the day I was married to my wonderful husband, I was blessed to feel a physical change take place - it was beautiful. In essence, the old me had died, and the new me, this man's wife, was ready to take on the challenges of married love. Praise the Lord!During this Advent Season, I have been thinking of doing more to die to myself. But after reading the above statement, I think I will concentrate more of dying to myself in my marriage. Like most couples who have been married awhile, we start to take our spouse for granted. I often do nice things for others outside my family. But when is the last time I did something special for my husband?
Louis and Marie-Zélie Guérin Martin, pray for us!
Tara Szymanski
