Interview with Rita A. Simmonds on the Sacrament of Marriage

I was so moved by the cancer patient's video in the previous post that I did had to do a little more searching. The name of his wife seemed very familiar to me. It dawned on me that she is a contributor to Magnificat magazine. In my search I came across an interview by another Magnificat contributor, Heather King. She interviewed her friend Rita in such an appealing way and exactly like it was, two friends sharing.  Even though the interview is a couple of years old, it is still much worthy of a good read.  POET RITA A. SIMMONDS ON THE SACRAMENT OF MARRIAGE.

Concept of Marriage Is Eroding, Warns Pope

Cautions Against "Pastoral Good" Which Negates Truth

VATICAN CITY, JAN. 29, 2007 (Zenit.org).- Relativism is eroding the concept of marriage, even among Catholics, says Benedict XVI.

The Pope also warned about the risk of seeing annulments as a canonical way to regulate the breakup of authentic marriages.

The Holy Father said this on Saturday in an address delivered to the judges, officials, lawyers and collaborators of the Roman Rota, the Church's central appellate court, at the opening of the judicial year.

The tribunal reviews cases already handled by ordinary ecclesiastical courts and appealed to the Holy See.

The "truth of marriage," Benedict XVI said, loses "existential relevance in a cultural context marked by relativism and juridical positivism, which consider marriage as a mere social formalization of emotional bonds."

"Consequently, not only does it become contingent, as human sentiments can be, but is presented as a legal superstructure that human will might manipulate according to its pleasure, even depriving it of its heterosexual character," the Pope added.

"This crisis of the meaning of marriage," which has even led to calling same-sex unions marriage, "also has effects on the way many faithful think," the Holy Father explained.

In this way, the "indissoluble conjugal bond" is denied, or regarded as an ideal that cannot be made obligatory for "normal Christians," he said.

True nullity

Benedict XVI explained: "In fact, the conviction has spread even in some ecclesiastical realms, according to which, the pastoral good of individuals in irregular marital situations would call for a kind of canonical regularization of their situation, regardless of the validity or invalidity of their marriage, that is, regardless of the 'truth' about their personal condition.

"The matrimonial declaration is considered, in fact, as an instrument to attain this objective, according to a logic in which the law becomes the formalization of subjective pretensions."

The Pontiff continued: "Given the subjective and libertarian relativization of the sexual experience, the tradition of the Church affirms with clarity the naturally juridical nature of marriage, that is, its belonging by nature to the realm of justice in interpersonal relations.

"From this point of view, the law is truly connected to life, with love as an intrinsic duty."

The Holy Father quoted his encyclical "Deus Caritas Est," No. 11, saying: "From the standpoint of creation, 'eros' directs man toward marriage, to a bond which is unique and definitive; thus, and only thus, does it fulfill its deepest purpose."

"Love and law," he said, "can thus be united to the point of making husband and wife give each other mutually the love that they feel spontaneously."
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Today's Homily

We had a visiting priest celebrate Mass today. As you know, the readings focused on the sacrament and sacredness of marriage.

There is no way I can adequately present you with Father B's delivery...keeping in mind he is full of joy and very dynamic. However, he did mentioned quite clearly why these readings prove that allowing priests to marry is not the answer to the priest shortage.

A higher percentage of marriages that end up in divorce are a big problem in today's world. Father asked, can you image what the church would do with half of their priests divorced? "You fix the institute of marriage and then we will talk about permitting our priests to be married!"...and he didn't see that happening any time soon.

Father made it clear that marriage is a sacrament and is forever.

BTW, you'll be happy to know ther lowest rate of divorce, according to Fr. B, occurs in the Catholic Church.

Marital Submission

Clipart courtesy of The Real Presence

When I was in my teens and early 20's and before I was married, I would listen to St. Paul's Letter to the Ephesians being read by a feminist lector. You could see her gritting her teeth and bristling afterwards at the idea of a wife being submissive to her husband.

I'm glad that now that I am a wife and mother, the true meaning of St. Paul's words finally make sense to me. If you really reflect on what he is saying, it is a beautiful analogy of Christ and His Church and a husband and his wife.

Father Cantalamessa on Marital Submission
Pontifical Household Preacher on This Sunday's Gospel

ROME, AUG. 25, 2006 (Zenit.org).- Here is a translation of a commentary by Capuchin Father Raniero Cantalamessa, preacher to the Pontifical Household, on this Sunday's second reading.

* * *

Husbands, Love Your Wives

This time I would like to focus attention on the second reading of the day (Ephesians 5:21-32) because it has a theme of great interest for the family.

Reading Paul's words with modern eyes, one immediately sees a difficulty. Paul recommends to husband that they "love" their wives (and this is good), but he also recommends to women that they be submissive to their husbands, and this -- in a society strongly (and justly) conscious of the equality of the sexes -- seems unacceptable.

In fact, it's true. On this point St. Paul is conditioned in part by the mentality of his age. However, the solution is not in eliminating from relations between husbands and wives the word "submission," but, perhaps, in making it mutual, as love must also be mutual.

In other words, not only must husbands love their wives, but wives must also love their husbands. Not only must wives be subject to their husbands, but also husbands to their wives, in mutual love and mutual submission.

In this case, to be subject means to take into account the wishes, opinion and sensitivity of one's spouse; to discuss, not to decide on one's own; to be able to give up one's own point of view. In short, to remember that both are "spouses," that is, literally, persons who are under "the same yoke," freely chosen.

The Apostle gives Christian spouses as model the relationship of love that exists between Christ and the Church, but he explains immediately in what such love consisted: "Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her." True love is manifested in "giving" oneself to the other.

There are two ways of expressing one's love for the beloved. The first is to give presents, to fill the other with gifts; the second, much more demanding, consists in suffering for one's spouse.

God loved us in the first way when he created us and filled us with goods: Heaven, earth, flowers, our bodies, everything is a gift of his. But then, in the fullness of time, in Christ, he came to us and suffered for us, unto death on the cross.

This is also true in human love. At the beginning, the newly married express their love with gifts. But the time comes for all when presents are not enough. It is necessary to be able to suffer with and for the beloved. One must love despite the limitations one discovers in the other, and despite the moments of poverty and illnesses.

This is true love which is like Christ's.

In general, the first kind of love is called "seeking love" (with a Greek word, eros); the second kind, "giving love" (with the Greek word agape).

The sign that a couple is passing from seeking to giving love, from eros to agape, is this: Instead of saying "What more could my husband do for me (respectively, my wife) which he still does not do?" one begins to ask: "What more could I do for my husband (or my wife) which I still have not done?"

[Translation by ZENIT]
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Husbands and Wives

Source: The Word Among Us June 2006 Issue

Big mahalo nui loa to Sts. Peter and Paul Parish for providing this wonderful magazine.

Excerpts from articles from husband and wife Randall and Theresa Cirner.

Husbands, Love Your Wives! - 5 Actions That Say I Love You

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:25).

How Do I Love You?

1. By Praying. Prayer is the most important thing a husband can do for his wife.

2. By Talking. Communication is very important between a husband and a wife. However, the timing of the talk is also important.

3. By Meeting Needs. Help your wife's needs. The important needs are as follows:

a. Time for God;
b. Time with other women;
c. Time out or in other words, a break

4. By Encouraging. Say something sincere to will make her feel good about herself.

5. By Going Out Together. The occasional date is very important to a happy marriage.

How to Really Love Your Husband?

Making it Real. Consider your husbands likes and preferences in little things as well as big.

Questions for Reflection:

1. Do I pray for my husband?

2. Do I show him respect?

3. Do I cook for my husband or for myself?

4. Do I do the things my husband asks me to do?

5. Does our time out together ever reflect my husband's interests?

6. Do I serve my husband cheerfully when he is sick?

7. Do I impose my standards of 'proper' behavior on my husband?

8. Do I resent my husband's time with his friends?

9. Is your home a place that both of you find physically pleasing?

As yourself each day? How is the lord calling me to show my love to my husband today?

"Outdo one another in showing honor and mutual affection' (Romans 12:10).

Priority Loving in the Family

While reading the May-June Issue of Lay Witness Magazine I came across the following quote from Kimberly Hahn:

"Priority loving in the family means loving your spouse first, your children second. The love of husband and wife is the wellspring of love for the entire family. Though our children's needs seem greater and more immediate, we must be careful not to allow their needs to consume the time and energy needed for our spouse. Besides, the greatest need of our children is to experience the love of their parents for each other. Often when my husband and I embrace, our young children try to wedge between us--not to break us apart but to feel the squeeze of love."

From A Mother's Plan of Life: Living God's Call in the Domestic Church