Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Personal Reflection on Offering It Up

Jesus Picture source Joyce Images and used with permission.

Usually, I find that certain things during the day annoy me. For instance, the endless humming of the edge trimmers every Wednesday, my child answering back, being stuck in traffic, long lines at the grocery store, people who are rude for no reason at all, etc., etc. The list is endless. When I let these things, that I sometimes have no control over, bother me, the results are bad. I tend to end up in a bad mood, impatient and short with my loved ones and I am sure God is not at all pleased with me at that particular moment. After the moment passes, I then remember that I should have offered up those annoyances and unite them with Jesus' sufferings.

It is during those moments that I feel close to despair. "Oh why didn't I remember sooner to offer it up? Why couldn't I have kept my mouth shut? Why, why, why????" Until I remember God's infinite Mercy and the chance to start again.

As I read more spiritual books I seem to remember before I pass up these chances to grow in holiness. And, I do see those moments as opportunities given to us by God or permitted by God, to help us grow in sanctity.

The following are just a couple of examples. The other night, I turned in completely exhausted from a long day with the kids. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. I was asleep for maybe five minutes when I was awaken by a loud crash. My dear husband had dropped something on the floor while looking for his wallet. On any other time, I would have immediately be filled with a flood of anger and self-pity. This time however, I held my tongue and my anger. I realized it was an accident and that my husband didn't mean to do that.

Another example is last night. Again, I went to sleep very tired. However, I wasn't able to fall asleep because of a TV and radio blasting around me, and the cat jumping on me. I offered it up to God and did not complain.

These two times that I did the right thing I gained or retained something very important...peace of mind.

Now, I know the two examples are nothing compared to what some people suffer or have to endure but I am referring more to the daily annoyances in our lives.

I find that when we suffer these little annoyances for the love of Jesus, they have meaning and one could actually thank God for them.

For me, it will probably be a long struggle because I know I lack the patience but with God's help I can root out the bad habits a little at a time, each day.


Akalei said...

Yeah, I know how that is. Sometimes when stuff like that happens I feel like screaming my head off. :-)
It's kind of fun though, to count them and see how many offerings made in a month.
I read once that St. Therese had more than 1,000 offerings made in a month! (I'm not sure when she made them when she was a child...) I'm going to try to beat her score (hehe!);-) but I don't think I can beat 1,000. It becomes fun and easier after a while.

Once, when I was alterserving (with my younger sister and brother for one of the many daily Masses at the Cathedral) I noticed that my brother was playing around with the book (the one you hold up for the priest) and then reciting some movie lines in my ear. Just before I was going to tell him to stop and warn him that I was going to tell on him (which was probably a silly reason) I happened to look at the large stained glass window of St. Therese (which was the window right in front of where the alterservers sit at a 12noon Mass). And then I was reminded of the times when she was annoyed, but offered them up and didn't say anything. Like when she was being splashed on by another sister during their time to wash clothes (hehe, I liked seeing that in the movie). And then when St. Therese was going to return a key into a room (where an elderly nun was fast asleep) another nun was there and was upset that St. Therese was there. Trying the best she could to not wake up the sleeping nun, St. Therese quietly explained that to the other sister that she herself was in charge of the key and was returning it to its place. The arguement went on and soon the elderly nun woke up quite upset and wanted to know who the start of the noise. The other sister pointed to St. Therese. St. Therese didn't protest and took the blame....and some other times came into my mind. I suddenly began to be so nice to my brother that he was starting to get kind of confused. Haha!
Sorry about the long comment, (it probably doesn't make any sense)but I couldn't help sharing.

God Bless you!
CT ;-D

EC Gefroh said...

CT: I am so glad you shared this with us. It is in the little things we do out of love that will one day make us saints. BTW, you must have really thrown your brother for a loop :-)

Micki said...

Hi Esther,
I sure don't know how you got wiped off my links but your back. I was just thinking of you and wondering why I hadn't checked you out.....I remember adding someone to links last week and it got put in twice so I hit the delete key to one...I must have got carried away??? That or Satan is trying to keep me from your fabulous site. Just had to ad that you blow away my vision of mean you have traffic and grocery line problems too???????? There goes PARADISE.

EC Gefroh said...

Not to worry Micki. I am noticing that some of my bloglines subscriptions disappear and I haven't deleted them. Someone named Merri told me I was missing your link. Good thing.
Yup, there are a lot of annoying things here. ha ha. just kidding.