My Promise to the Blessed Mother

Like any good Catholic mom, my mother taught her children how to pray the Holy Rosary. However, our family did not pray the Rosary together every night. I think we would have done so more willingly if our dad had joined in. But I think he came from the old Latino school where the prayers and housework were left to the women. I do remember a few times we did pray the Rosary as a family. One time was when we thought our dad had had a heart attack and then after my parents adopted our two little brothers, we tried to set a good example by praying the Rosary in the evenings when the boys were still little.

When I was about 19 years old, the Capuchin Friars at our parish had such a profound effect on me spiritually. I believe it was around that time that I promised our Lady I would pray the Holy Rosary daily.

From that day forward, I said the Rosary daily. Notice I did not say prayed the Rosary but more accurately, I said the Rosary. I did it just to get it over with. Many times I would be tempted to skip that day's Rosary.

My mother once told me, once you make a promise to Our Lady, she expects you to keep it. My mother told me a story of a saintly person who promised to pray a Hail Mary for our Lady's intention at a certain time of day. He did so for a while and then fell out of that habit. One day our lady seemed displeased with him. He asked her about this and she reminded him of his promise and pointed out his failure to keep it. Right away, he asked for her forgiveness and never missed a Hail Mary for her intentions again.

It seemed like every time I had the temptation to skip the Rosary, A voice inside me would nag me not to skip it. I realized right away, it was our Lady was reminding me of my promise that I had made to her.

It has been almost 30 years since I made that promise and unless I was very sick, I have not skipped a day when I said the Rosary daily.

As I mentioned above, I really just wanted to get the 5 daily decades out of the way. I might have as well have prayed my Rosary the way the Little Shepherd Children at Fatima did..."Our Father. Hail Mary. Hail Mary..."Glory Be.....Amen" It did not help matters when I read in The Secret of the Rosary by Saint Louis de Montfort or another similar book, that our dear Blessed Mother will accept our poorly said Rosary just as our own dear earthly mother will accept our wilted little Dandelions as if they were beautiful roses. I rationalized that our Lady was just happy that I was at least saying the Rosary daily while other people were not. I was so wrong!

I had trouble meditating on the Mysteries. I just could not meditate. My mind would wander and I would start out with the best of intentions and end up 15 minutes later thinking about something trivial. I tried everything I could think of in order to grow to love praying the Rosary. I continuously asked friends and family for the secret to meditating on the mysteries. I listened tapes on the Rosary, I read books, read Rosary meditation pamphlets, prayed it in Church, prayed it in a group....but to no avail.. I merely paid our lady lip-service. But since I said the Rosary, I felt I had met my obligation. It just didn't feel very fulfilled spiritually speaking....but I persevered.

It never occurred to me to ask for our Lord or Lady's help in praying the Rosary.

Now that I am a mom of an almost adult son, I finally am able to meditate on the mysteries.

I wish I could tell you there was a secret I could share with you. But there really wasn't. It was a combination of things that led to my love of the Rosary and a devotion to our Blessed Mother. I think the turning point was when I started attending Holy Mass daily. Another thing that helped was praying the Holy Rosary in before the Blessed Sacrament in Eucharistic Adoration and before Mass. Praying the Rosary as a family in the evenings has also been invaluable to me.

I even taught myself little tricks that I found helpful. I close my eyes and try to picture the scenes depicted in a particular mystery or I try to imagine myself there in the scene. What would I do? Would I be courageous like Veronica for instance (in the Fourth Sorrowful Mystery) or would I be weak like the apostles in the First Sorrowful mystery?

One of the best things to happen to me in my growth in Rosary meditation, was to have our beloved Holy Father John Paul II, add the new Luminous Mysteries of the Rosary. With the Luminous Mysteries, we just about cover all of the Sacraments! My favorite one is the last one...The Institution of the Holy Eucharist at the Last Supper. My soul is overwhelmed with love when I meditate on God's great love for us in giving us His precious Body and Blood. He also instituted the priesthood to ensure that we could always have the Holy Eucharist with us as long as we have Catholic priests.

So in this month of the Holy Rosary, I am very grateful that after many dry years of prayers especially when it came to the Rosary, and struggles to develop a love and devotion to our Blessed Mother, I am now able to PRAY the Holy Rosary of Our Lady and not merely SAY the Rosary. And, I have continued to keep my promise to our Lady.