I think as far as I can remember, I wanted to be like my mother...a wife and the mother of a large family. I took it for granted that I would one day have a large family. My father comes from a family of about a dozen children and so does my mom.
I tried to do everything right and be the good Catholic girl that would make my parents proud and never do anything that would shame me before my God and my parents. With God's and my parent's help and guidance, I think I accomplished that. I was so sure God would reward me with the man of my dreams and a very large family to call my own.
My husband's father often advised him to marry a good Catholic girl. It was providential that we met, fell in love and got married. My husband also came from a large family. His father's family was also a very large and loving family.
My husband and I were so sure that when we got married, we would be raising a large family too. After all, it was almost inevitable.
But it looks like we forgot to ask God for what His will was concerning our family.
After a few years of not being able to conceive, we started praying (something we should have done as a couple even before we were married) for a child to call our own.
God opened our hearts to adoption and with His guiding hand, we met our beloved son...the cutest little rascal in the world! We could not have chosen a better child as our own. It was all God's work in play. We both realize that.
I finally got pregnant a few years into our marriage. But it was not meant to be and miscarried soon after. But I was now hopeful that becoming pregnant would just be a matter of time.
Again, we forgot to consult God about His plans.
It has now been almost 8 or 9 years since that day and we have one child on earth and one in Heaven.
It was not for lack of trying that our family is small. In our minds and heart, we know that is what God wanted for our family.
With that I leave you a post by Exspectantes.
I actually have thought about cutting back on the more personal posts but I wanted to share with you this in case you have a small Catholic family too.
I had read that original post a while back. I certainly have never judged others with small families for not being open to life. One never knows what other factors are involved.
ReplyDeleteGod is good, and you are so blessed with Joey. I'm sure he couldn't have asked for a better mother. What a gift for you both. :) Thanks for sharing.
Touching post Esther.
ReplyDeleteI think its so sad that people would be judged about the size of their family whether it be small or big.
Thanks for reminding people not to "judge" one way or the other re: the number of children in a family.
ReplyDeleteI was an "only." Not because my parents weren't open to life, but because I was the only one God sent them.
Looking back on it, I realize that my 6th grade nun partly didn't like me because she had not-too-subtle contempt that I was an "only" and "must be" spoiled.
I always felt like telling her "no sister, I'm not spoiled, having to suffer in silence people like you telling me I must automatically be "spoiled" because I am an only."
I hope God blesses us with more children in the future... but I think we'll have a small family... I want 2 more if possible, but must trust the Lord...
ReplyDeleteI echo Karen's words. I have heard judgements made on families for not having enough children-and that kind of smugness of those who have been well blessed.
ReplyDeleteGod bless all who are open to His will and to Life-no matter how many or few he sends.
Alexandra, I'm sure you never did. I remember a lady in one of my hs groups. She had one son and she was so self-conscious about what other Catholics would think of her for not having more kids. I never really thought about it one way or another to be honest.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sunny.
Oh Karen, I'm sorry you went through that. How sad. You are right about the stereotype though. Joey feels that pressure too.
Heather, I hope so for your sake.
WS, that's it...doing God's will!